Happy 2nd Birthday Gummy Bear

If Akshar is my cheerleader then Saharsh takes the role of my therapist aka confidence booster. While Akshar’s pregnancy was a winding emotional roller coaster, Saharsh’s was somewhat easy except for minor instances. It was still a high-risk pregnancy but my emotions are under control and manageable because of prior experience. In fact, I did all my routine tasks (including carrying Akshar) until the day of my delivery. Everything went good with the C-section but there was an issue with my milk supply which led to Saharsh’s drastic weight drop in the next two days. I was hoping not to have this scenario repeat as happened it with Akshar and we have to keep up with multiple doctor checkups in first few weeks of his life. I was drugged with pain killers, high on hormones and started arguing with everyone. But when I saw Saharsh’s weight dropping, I no longer can control and had a breakdown. Looking at my situation my primary incharge nurse panicked and rushed to the available doctor suspecting Post Partum depression. My most respected pediatrician was on rounds and stopped by to boost my confidence. She cajoled me like a daughter and highlighted what I did and how I performed as a Mom till then. I did have some positive affect after this therapy and decided I should start focusing on what the kid’s needs vs how I am failing supplying his food.

I don’t know if Saharsh was able to grasp all that conversation (funny me) but he turned out to be my helper from then. During all those lonely nights with him, he was no troublemaker which helped me intensely with the recovery. I felt, I got this new energy(kind of super mom or power types) absorbed and started multitasking many tasks excelling both at home and work.  Even when he was infant, I was to able get many chores completed leaving him alone on the bed or in the crib. He would be entertaining himself or simply glancing at his mom not causing any trouble to me.  

First day of day care is a tougher thing for every mom. I am no exception and cried badly leaving Akshar/Saharsh. If kids cry mom’s situation worsens with guilt. Saharsh never fussed in those first few days and always greeted me with a big smile at the end of the day when I went to pick him up. When I left him with my parents he was barely 10 months and always tracing me where ever he was. On the day of our travel back to US, he jumped like a happy baby in my mom’s arms making my DAY easier. But I still struggled on the outbound flight to USA worrying how he will settle down, do I have to go back and get him blah blah. Not sure what he was thinking (probably a very lengthy day at day care) but he adapted to the surroundings and adjusted with grandparents. These actions gave me immense strength in keeping up with my jobs. I took some risky decisions last year and if I look at them closely, the reason behind my sudden confidence boost is Saharsh. He is the one who planted that confidence seed in me.

As my little gummy bears turns 2, I wish him health, happiness and of course lots of love especially from his darling big brother.

Gummy Bear on Bhogi Pallu(Jan, 2019)