Blended by Demand

Akshar  is always Daddy’s boy. He even words out “Nana” when he cries.  Amma  is always a plan B to him. But,  Saharsh  is on the other territory (for now). Though he follows “Anna/Big Bro” in all the activities, he picks “Amma” as his priority. And he is possessive in most of the aspects about “Amma”. I kind of liked that closeness especially, when the elder one is like touch me not when Dad is around. I joke around saying we don’t need even glue and that how much he sticks to me when he is at home. That kind of opens another door to his personality. When I drop at day care, it is usually a scary  sight  with screams of crying and gallons of tears. That makes my day worse. Today is one among those days. He has to change places (day care) and yesterday was his first day at the new place (Sanctuary Kids care). I  was tensed  since Monday night and barely slept thinking about the next morning. And why it is? See the story below.  😉 The da...

Life has been getting busier. Having two kids who are 4 and under, life is more juggled. They need our constant attention, care and love. Though I barely get any time for myself or get any time to spend with Krishna, I am cherishing each moment. I feel my life filled with their bonding, mischiefs, tantrums and funniness. Makes you realize life is bitter-sweet. Akshar  had his first training camps this summer. It started with T ball, followed by Swimming and Skating classes. This Pre-Ker is enjoying all those classes though his concentration, focus is still developing. I was amazed  by the coach’s patience and zeal to train these little kids (4-6 year olds). It is fun to watch these little kids as they try to grasp the basics of each class and then try to repeat the newly acquired skills. Through the process they try to cheer, pick and congratulate each other. I noticed  Akshar  started moving away from the “Stranger-Danger” zone to “Comfort/Friendly” zone thi...

I am not a stranger to travelling alone on flights. But for the past 4+ years my travel is always with my two little munchkins.    I did take couple of work trips in domestic flights which are short and my colleagues were with me providing company. So when I started planning this trip to get  Saharsh  back to Columbus, I realized I have to travel alone one way. And I assumed I will enjoy that quiet time or me time. I am wrong and I realized it in the first leg of my flight. I hated each lonely moment, hated the silence since there is no crying or continuous chatter with never-ending questionnaire, hated when I ate my food where there are no spills or gulping, hated sleeping long without the little warm body touching me or disturbing me every 5 minutes, hated navigating easily through the layovers without hands full of luggage or restroom breaks, hated for not able to use the tiniest bathroom multiple times, hated when I was able to use bathroom pe...

If Akshar is my cheerleader then Saharsh takes the role of my therapist aka confidence booster. While Akshar’s pregnancy was a winding emotional roller coaster, Saharsh’s was somewhat easy except for minor instances. It was still a high-risk pregnancy but my emotions are under control and manageable because of prior experience. In fact, I did all my routine tasks (including carrying Akshar) until the day of my delivery. Everything went good with the C-section but there was an issue with my milk supply which led to Saharsh’s drastic weight drop in the next two days. I was hoping not to have this scenario repeat as happened it with Akshar and we have to keep up with multiple doctor checkups in first few weeks of his life. I was drugged with pain killers, high on hormones and started arguing with everyone. But when I saw Saharsh’s weight dropping, I no longer can control and had a breakdown. Looking at my situation my primary incharge nurse panicked and rushed to the available doctor s...

Monday ,7.30AM. Driving to work… Mom S: Hello Cutie Pie, How are you? Baby S: Gaah.. paatyiooo…chiyoo. Laa… gaa Mom S: Ohh is it, looks like you had a great day . Did you eat good? Baby S: taaaa..saaa..kadaa..waah… Mom S: No honey, you have to complete the food. It will make you stronger. Baby S: gaaa..taaa..paaa…yeeee Mom S: Ok, that sounds good. Make sure to complete everything tomorrow. Take care, bye. I hung up, turn off my car engine and pick my things from the car. It is still dark outside(Thanks to the longer darker winters) as I walk in to the office and then to my cube. Many people are busily peeking in to their monitors around my desk but most of my team won’t make it until 9. Which means I still have sometime before my meetings kick in and the week keeps me busy. I slowly unwrap my Egg sandwich and start memorizing my conversation with baby S . Though it is my routine conversation as I drive to my work I will be left with a heavy heart for few minutes ...

For the last few days there has been extensive coverage on the death and funeral of George. H.W. Bush, the 41 st president who died on November 30 th 2018. He was not only 41st President of USA but also loving and caring family man. In all those tributes what caught my attention is his never-ending love to his 3 year old daughter who died of Leukemia 65 years ago. Seems the Sr. Bush couple always remember her and cherished those 3 years they spent caring for their daughter. And after 5 kids and many grand kids/ great grand kids they still felt her space cannot be replaced. This gives an example every child has an unique place in their parent’s heart. My first baby did not make it beyond 20 weeks and passed away prematurely. This happened 5 years back and after that I had two successful pregnancies that ended up with two beautiful kids. They make me cry, chuckle and be grateful. But somewhere deep in my heart I always cry for that little one who did not make in to this world....

As my alarm snoozes 3rd time at 5.40AM, I realize it’s time for me to get out of the covers and make me prep for the busy day. I will not be able to get back to my darling bed for 17 more hours. I should say 17 hours of multi-tasking various things between work, kids and home. Staying in US for 12 years with approximate 8 years of automotive career granted me few perks (machine dependency) but at the same time did not free me up from doing daily chores.(Yeah women still has to take sole responsibility of certain things at home though she is working full time, sick or simply tired). Sometimes that makes me feel I am caught up in this maze forever. At the same time people who look at me feel I am a super woman who can command others fierce fully at work, hop on to a semi-truck which looks like a beast and make it function correctly, cook three hot meals daily, make things run smoothly for home, organize fancy parties and at the same time attach machines to my body for feeding infant w...